Bunga di Musim Cerah (part 1)

These past 2 months have been a very tough time for me. Sometimes I purposely quietted down myself, trying to find my peace back.

Without realizing it, I've been reserving my talks with people in my workplace. I spoke only when it was really needed. And in worse cases, with my head bowing down purposely, just because I didn't want to see them on their eyes, nor let them catch the sadness in my eyes.

I have been smilling less frequently to the people around me. After all, I thought, who would care of smiling when your heart is very sad?

What has actually been happening is that I've gradually lost my joy...

As I shared previously, so many things have happened in these past 2 months. I tried to stand on my own feet. I made a decision for myself. However it seemed that my decision has somehow ruined my relationship with my mom. She has been very disappointed to me ever since. Not only has she lost her appetites, but she has also lost her sleep. And eventually she let us -her three daughters- know that she has been feeling down and tremendeously distressed. The disappointment was too big for her to cope with.

It was too heavy on me, too... Guilts crept. I felt bad of letting my mom feel disappointed. I have ruined her expectations, I thought.

I felt just as if my shoulders had been carrying a great pile of burden. I felt pressurized. So sad and troubled. I felt like wanna cry.

Hey, it doesn't stop here...
Find out more on "Bunga di Musim Cerah (part 2)".