Lord, I love You.
Thank You for everything...
I remember moments when You stand next to me - even in my hardest times,
moments when You come to my rescue and comfort me - even in my failures and pains,
moments when You show Your faithfulness to me - even when I'm in tears,
moments when You hold my hands and guide my steps in Your invisible-yet-real ways - despite all my doubts and fears.
You are my light when I'm losing sight.
You are my Hope so sure, my Song in every season of my life, my closest Friend.
No one else like You, Lord...
You are the best I've ever had.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
She Is
She is loved.
She is not abandoned.
You shall also be [so beautiful and prosperous as to be thought of as]
a crown of glory and honor in the hand of the Lord,
and a royal diadem [exceedingly beautiful] in the hand of your God.
Isaiah 62:3 (Amplified Bible)
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Falling in Love
Saturday afternoon.
I'm at home, eating this Droste Pastilles Stracciatella.
It's white chocolate in vanilla flavour with cocoa crisp and rice crisp.
Tastes so good in its every bite.
Mom, help me... I'm falling in love with chocolates even more...!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
My Forever Praise
Today everyone got a bad news from my company's management. Due to company internal financial difficulty, they have decided that there won't be a 13th month salary this year end. Precisely on e-mail they called it 'credit crisis'.
The news startled all of us. And it's powerful enough to change the atmosphere in my office. In a sudden, all cheerfulness in my office disappeared. Everyone felt very disappointed and sad because they have been really expecting for 13th salary. After hearing the news, there was no more zeal in working for the rest of the day, hmm which I mean today.
Few days ago I heard it as a 'rumour' only. My colleagues were gossipping about it and praying that it won't really happen by all means. But today at around 12pm the management has announced formally by an e-mail sent to all staff. So after I came back from lunch, I found out the e-mail. I couldn't deny that at that time I was also disappointed... In my heart I was still embracing a hope. A hope that the management will re-consider their decision.
***
Ok, so here it was. Not long after that, my junior boss walked toward my desk. I didn't ask him anything. I just greeted him, "Hello, Mr. XXX, how are you? How is everything?" I tried to smile when I said that. Even you may think that smiling is 'a bit weird and extreme' reaction one could show after reading that e-mail. Hahaha I agree... But I just smiled and tried my best to be calmed in front of him.
He said, "Everybody in the office is very sad today..." He added, "Have you seen the e-mail?" I nodded. "But you seem fine and not affected. See, you can still laugh... You are not feeling sad..."
Without me asking, he went on by explaining to me what was happening and why the management really had to come out with such a decision. How unstable the financial state of our company has been recently, etc.
"So how do you feel right now?", he questioned while some of my colleagues were also present right there at that moment. Some, I believe, followed our conversation. I replied, "I'm a bit sad." I stopped for a couple minutes, trying to find the right sentence, before I said, "Much or less it affects me, too." He continued the conversation by explaining that actually the management were faced by two options. First, cutting off the 13th month salary. Second, cutting down monthly salary by 10%. He later told me that it was wiser to implement the first option.
***
I tried to control my feeling. My heart said to God, "God, it is still ok. I want to work for You. I will continue serving all my bosses excellently." There was me. I continued doing my routines. I typed the contract then checked it thoroughly before handing it to my junior boss.
While I was handing the contract sheet to my junior boss in his office room, unexpectedly, he asked my opinion, again... I thought for a while before I answered. I was convinced it was the right time to let him know what was on my mind. So I said, "Mr. XXX, actually I really need an increment in my monthly salary" I can't remember whether I continued with a sentence like this, "to be able to cope with this recession." But it was clearly pictured by my expression and tone. He got my point.
Then he offered his reply, not in a harsh way, but rather in a well-controlled and sympathetic tone, "Just like me personally, I do understand you have many things to cope with, many expenses to pay. And maybe at the end of the day, there are not much cash left. But do you think this is the perfect time to ask for an increment?"
He continued with this, "We feel sorry that we can't grant your request, but if you can, please try to bear for few months. Let's see if we can have our financial condition improved by mid 2009 and by that time we will give an increment for you... I feel personally, and as entirely agreed by the rest of the management, you are the most excellent staff here. The management complimented your performance." He said, "We hope you can bear with us."
The conversation was somehow longer than what I firstly thought as he went on saying, "For the past few weeks, we as the management have been considering of laying off 4 staffs. We are still not ready with the final decision currently. But if we really are gonna do so, you will be the last person to be laid off. If next year we are seeing improvement financially, you will be the first person to receive a reward in terms of increment."
I listened to him patiently as he was unfolding his mind. I thanked him for letting me know all those things then I went off his office room with the contract sheet, now signed, on my hand. Not much did I say.
***
Today in the office my heart has been comforted and my soul has been greatly encouraged by verses on Habakkuk 3:17-19.
"Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights."
***
Ok, now what do I wanna say? Hmmm I just wanna say it is fine. Everything is still under His control. It might not be easy, but don't worry, I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
Lord, thank You for always being faithful to me, You are here with me in good and bad times. Never a second in my life have You ever left me. And now, no matter what happens, enable me to still say, "You are my Forever Praise."
I love You, Lord.
The news startled all of us. And it's powerful enough to change the atmosphere in my office. In a sudden, all cheerfulness in my office disappeared. Everyone felt very disappointed and sad because they have been really expecting for 13th salary. After hearing the news, there was no more zeal in working for the rest of the day, hmm which I mean today.
Few days ago I heard it as a 'rumour' only. My colleagues were gossipping about it and praying that it won't really happen by all means. But today at around 12pm the management has announced formally by an e-mail sent to all staff. So after I came back from lunch, I found out the e-mail. I couldn't deny that at that time I was also disappointed... In my heart I was still embracing a hope. A hope that the management will re-consider their decision.
***
Ok, so here it was. Not long after that, my junior boss walked toward my desk. I didn't ask him anything. I just greeted him, "Hello, Mr. XXX, how are you? How is everything?" I tried to smile when I said that. Even you may think that smiling is 'a bit weird and extreme' reaction one could show after reading that e-mail. Hahaha I agree... But I just smiled and tried my best to be calmed in front of him.
He said, "Everybody in the office is very sad today..." He added, "Have you seen the e-mail?" I nodded. "But you seem fine and not affected. See, you can still laugh... You are not feeling sad..."
Without me asking, he went on by explaining to me what was happening and why the management really had to come out with such a decision. How unstable the financial state of our company has been recently, etc.
"So how do you feel right now?", he questioned while some of my colleagues were also present right there at that moment. Some, I believe, followed our conversation. I replied, "I'm a bit sad." I stopped for a couple minutes, trying to find the right sentence, before I said, "Much or less it affects me, too." He continued the conversation by explaining that actually the management were faced by two options. First, cutting off the 13th month salary. Second, cutting down monthly salary by 10%. He later told me that it was wiser to implement the first option.
***
I tried to control my feeling. My heart said to God, "God, it is still ok. I want to work for You. I will continue serving all my bosses excellently." There was me. I continued doing my routines. I typed the contract then checked it thoroughly before handing it to my junior boss.
While I was handing the contract sheet to my junior boss in his office room, unexpectedly, he asked my opinion, again... I thought for a while before I answered. I was convinced it was the right time to let him know what was on my mind. So I said, "Mr. XXX, actually I really need an increment in my monthly salary" I can't remember whether I continued with a sentence like this, "to be able to cope with this recession." But it was clearly pictured by my expression and tone. He got my point.
Then he offered his reply, not in a harsh way, but rather in a well-controlled and sympathetic tone, "Just like me personally, I do understand you have many things to cope with, many expenses to pay. And maybe at the end of the day, there are not much cash left. But do you think this is the perfect time to ask for an increment?"
He continued with this, "We feel sorry that we can't grant your request, but if you can, please try to bear for few months. Let's see if we can have our financial condition improved by mid 2009 and by that time we will give an increment for you... I feel personally, and as entirely agreed by the rest of the management, you are the most excellent staff here. The management complimented your performance." He said, "We hope you can bear with us."
The conversation was somehow longer than what I firstly thought as he went on saying, "For the past few weeks, we as the management have been considering of laying off 4 staffs. We are still not ready with the final decision currently. But if we really are gonna do so, you will be the last person to be laid off. If next year we are seeing improvement financially, you will be the first person to receive a reward in terms of increment."
I listened to him patiently as he was unfolding his mind. I thanked him for letting me know all those things then I went off his office room with the contract sheet, now signed, on my hand. Not much did I say.
***
Today in the office my heart has been comforted and my soul has been greatly encouraged by verses on Habakkuk 3:17-19.
"Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights."
***
Ok, now what do I wanna say? Hmmm I just wanna say it is fine. Everything is still under His control. It might not be easy, but don't worry, I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
Lord, thank You for always being faithful to me, You are here with me in good and bad times. Never a second in my life have You ever left me. And now, no matter what happens, enable me to still say, "You are my Forever Praise."
I love You, Lord.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Dreams
A poem by Langston Hughes.
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Never For Granted
Asia Conference 2008.
Singapore Expo, 19-23 Nov 2008.
Forecasted to be fully packed...!
Over 19,000 delegates from more than 70 countries all over the world, are forecasted to flood Singapore Expo. They are coming with one single purpose in heart, to seek God and find revelations of His will that will change the course of their lives for ever.
They are coming with burning passion. They are willing to pay the price. They are willing to go the extra mile. And when I say this, I really mean they really are...
Today I was 'poked' by God, through a-very-tender-yet-awakening message I heard from our Pastor. The message is all about Asia Conference. But to me personally, through this message, God has gently reminded me of one basic-yet-long-forgotten principle: we ought not take things for granted.
Too often we complain, too often we grumble, too often we murmur. And in the next split second, we become very ungrateful people who start taking things for granted...
Our job, our relationship, our health... and maybe they are just a few examples.
In our cell group meeting this morning, my cell group leader asked me whether I would attend the first evening session of Asia conference. I replied her lightly, "Probably I wouldn't".
Things began to stirred up inside my heart as I was hearing Pastor's explanation about Asia Conference. I was pretty much startled after hearing a huge number of delegates and the great efforts they have made to be able to attend this 5 day conference. I was amazed.
At that very moment, I felt God spoke to my heart, "See, how people have been so willing to come. See, how great are efforts they have made."
And God brought my mind to ponder my words spoken 3 hours earlier to my cell group leader, "Probably I wouldn't come."
What a contrast to the people out there! I thought.
I began to realize there are things I have been taking for granted. To me, the free time I would have after office hours, the convenient transportation, plus the relatively short travelling distance from my office to the conference venue, somehow doesn't always interprete that I would come? Oh...!
I was really convicted that instead I should be thankful for everything God has given me: the free time after office hours, the convenient transportation, plus the relatively short travelling distance. My spirit responded, I said in my heart, "Lord, sorry, I have been taking this privilege to come for granted. I won't do so again."
Now I know that God has carried me back to His truth through this simple lesson. I learned that I am to be a person of gratitude, a person of thankfullness, a person full of appreciation.
So now I want to freely say, "Lord, I'm grateful for such a privilege to come and seek You in this Asia Conference 2008."
Reshape my characters and redirect the course of my life as You perfectly will.
Here I am, Lord, refine me like never before. All for Your glory.
Singapore Expo, 19-23 Nov 2008.
Forecasted to be fully packed...!
Over 19,000 delegates from more than 70 countries all over the world, are forecasted to flood Singapore Expo. They are coming with one single purpose in heart, to seek God and find revelations of His will that will change the course of their lives for ever.
They are coming with burning passion. They are willing to pay the price. They are willing to go the extra mile. And when I say this, I really mean they really are...
Today I was 'poked' by God, through a-very-tender-yet-awakening message I heard from our Pastor. The message is all about Asia Conference. But to me personally, through this message, God has gently reminded me of one basic-yet-long-forgotten principle: we ought not take things for granted.
Too often we complain, too often we grumble, too often we murmur. And in the next split second, we become very ungrateful people who start taking things for granted...
Our job, our relationship, our health... and maybe they are just a few examples.
In our cell group meeting this morning, my cell group leader asked me whether I would attend the first evening session of Asia conference. I replied her lightly, "Probably I wouldn't".
Things began to stirred up inside my heart as I was hearing Pastor's explanation about Asia Conference. I was pretty much startled after hearing a huge number of delegates and the great efforts they have made to be able to attend this 5 day conference. I was amazed.
At that very moment, I felt God spoke to my heart, "See, how people have been so willing to come. See, how great are efforts they have made."
And God brought my mind to ponder my words spoken 3 hours earlier to my cell group leader, "Probably I wouldn't come."
What a contrast to the people out there! I thought.
I began to realize there are things I have been taking for granted. To me, the free time I would have after office hours, the convenient transportation, plus the relatively short travelling distance from my office to the conference venue, somehow doesn't always interprete that I would come? Oh...!
I was really convicted that instead I should be thankful for everything God has given me: the free time after office hours, the convenient transportation, plus the relatively short travelling distance. My spirit responded, I said in my heart, "Lord, sorry, I have been taking this privilege to come for granted. I won't do so again."
Now I know that God has carried me back to His truth through this simple lesson. I learned that I am to be a person of gratitude, a person of thankfullness, a person full of appreciation.
So now I want to freely say, "Lord, I'm grateful for such a privilege to come and seek You in this Asia Conference 2008."
Reshape my characters and redirect the course of my life as You perfectly will.
Here I am, Lord, refine me like never before. All for Your glory.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Super-sizing
Greater than what I could even ask or imagine...
bcoz You super-size my dreams...
as I stay in faith and keep on setting my eyes onto You.
The divine wisdom
The divine health
The divine spouse
The divine career
The divine relationships
The divine paths and opportunities
"No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him"
(1 Cor 2:9)
bcoz You super-size my dreams...
as I stay in faith and keep on setting my eyes onto You.
The divine wisdom
The divine health
The divine spouse
The divine career
The divine relationships
The divine paths and opportunities
"No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him"
(1 Cor 2:9)
God's Highest Law of Possibility
What seems impossible to me is POSSIBLE to God.
He has not run out of ways to bless me.
I may not know how, but I believe it does happen, in a greater way, each and every day.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD
Forever.
- Psalm 23:6 -
Lord, I'm ready to be amazed by Your goodness, once again...!
He has not run out of ways to bless me.
I may not know how, but I believe it does happen, in a greater way, each and every day.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD
Forever.
- Psalm 23:6 -
Lord, I'm ready to be amazed by Your goodness, once again...!
All Things are Made New
I'm letting go of my past.
I'm letting go of disappointments and burdens.
I'm letting go of insecurities and doubts about future.
Bcoz I believe... Lord, in You all things are made new.
"Behold, I make all things new.”
And He said to me,“Write, for these words are true and faithful.”
Rev 21:5 (NKJV)
I'm letting go of disappointments and burdens.
I'm letting go of insecurities and doubts about future.
Bcoz I believe... Lord, in You all things are made new.
"Behold, I make all things new.”
And He said to me,“Write, for these words are true and faithful.”
Rev 21:5 (NKJV)
Monday, October 27, 2008
Friendship
I just wanna take this time to say thanks to all my friends. Thanks a lot for ever-bearing one and another, ever-sharing the joy & the pain, and most of all for encouraging me to reach my destiny. Your friendship is a bright star to my sky, a refreshing dew to my soul, and an unfading encouragement to my every step. Each of you has always been an inspiration to me and I thank God our paths cross.
I pray that we continue sharpening each other, just as iron sharpens iron. I pray that we strengthen and carry each other as we are running the race, until we receive the crown of glory one day.
Thank you, friends, for always having faith in me and bringing out the best of me. So that I could learn to be a faithful companion and a living inspiration. So that I could have a desire to be a TRUE FRIEND to someone else.
I just want you to know, each of you are very special. Apples of God's eyes. A masterpiece in God's hand. Never give up !
I pray that we continue sharpening each other, just as iron sharpens iron. I pray that we strengthen and carry each other as we are running the race, until we receive the crown of glory one day.
Thank you, friends, for always having faith in me and bringing out the best of me. So that I could learn to be a faithful companion and a living inspiration. So that I could have a desire to be a TRUE FRIEND to someone else.
I just want you to know, each of you are very special. Apples of God's eyes. A masterpiece in God's hand. Never give up !
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Bunga di Musim Cerah (part 2)
Two days ago, my mind was opened as I listened to Joyce Meyer webcast. She urged us to smile more often and purposely form a habit of smiling. Simply because when we are smiling, we are sending signals to our body that everything is gonna be alright. Furthermore, smiles unlock the fountain of joy in our soul.
The joy, will be our strength. Strength to handle a busy day in the office, strength to persevere during hard times, and strength to soar above 1001 problems in our lives.
The message was short. Straight forward. Yet eye-opening.
It convicted me to smile more often... Really, it's just that simple! I need to learn to enjoy my life and be glad.
So that night I told myself to keep on smiling, regardless of circumstances. After all, gladness should not be dictacted by our circumstances. Gladness should be something that bubbles out of our soul. Yes, we might be facing difficulties or we might be fighting with so many problems... but still be rejoicing, knowing that all things work together for good for those who love God.
But let's not forget, to be glad is a choice...! I can choose to rejoice always, or remain sulky for the rest of the day, for the rest of the month, or for the rest of the year...
I choose to smile.
And the moment I made this choice, a song jumped into my mind. "Senyummu bunga, di musim cerah. Matamu surya, memancar ramah." I feel like God is pointing this lyric to me in a very special way. It's just like He's telling me gently that He longs to see me smiling and rejoicing in His love, again and again...
God, even in the midst of my turmoils and tears, I will choose to smile, for You.
I hear a soft whisper from heaven, "Senyummu... bunga di musim cerah."
Friday, October 17, 2008
Bunga di Musim Cerah (part 1)
These past 2 months have been a very tough time for me. Sometimes I purposely quietted down myself, trying to find my peace back.
Without realizing it, I've been reserving my talks with people in my workplace. I spoke only when it was really needed. And in worse cases, with my head bowing down purposely, just because I didn't want to see them on their eyes, nor let them catch the sadness in my eyes.
I have been smilling less frequently to the people around me. After all, I thought, who would care of smiling when your heart is very sad?
What has actually been happening is that I've gradually lost my joy...
As I shared previously, so many things have happened in these past 2 months. I tried to stand on my own feet. I made a decision for myself. However it seemed that my decision has somehow ruined my relationship with my mom. She has been very disappointed to me ever since. Not only has she lost her appetites, but she has also lost her sleep. And eventually she let us -her three daughters- know that she has been feeling down and tremendeously distressed. The disappointment was too big for her to cope with.
It was too heavy on me, too... Guilts crept. I felt bad of letting my mom feel disappointed. I have ruined her expectations, I thought.
I felt just as if my shoulders had been carrying a great pile of burden. I felt pressurized. So sad and troubled. I felt like wanna cry.
Hey, it doesn't stop here...
Find out more on "Bunga di Musim Cerah (part 2)".
Without realizing it, I've been reserving my talks with people in my workplace. I spoke only when it was really needed. And in worse cases, with my head bowing down purposely, just because I didn't want to see them on their eyes, nor let them catch the sadness in my eyes.
I have been smilling less frequently to the people around me. After all, I thought, who would care of smiling when your heart is very sad?
What has actually been happening is that I've gradually lost my joy...
As I shared previously, so many things have happened in these past 2 months. I tried to stand on my own feet. I made a decision for myself. However it seemed that my decision has somehow ruined my relationship with my mom. She has been very disappointed to me ever since. Not only has she lost her appetites, but she has also lost her sleep. And eventually she let us -her three daughters- know that she has been feeling down and tremendeously distressed. The disappointment was too big for her to cope with.
It was too heavy on me, too... Guilts crept. I felt bad of letting my mom feel disappointed. I have ruined her expectations, I thought.
I felt just as if my shoulders had been carrying a great pile of burden. I felt pressurized. So sad and troubled. I felt like wanna cry.
Hey, it doesn't stop here...
Find out more on "Bunga di Musim Cerah (part 2)".
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